Stars and the Moon
by ILoVeWicked
Summary: Addison Montgomery reflects on all she has...and all she could have had. Pairings include: Addex, Maddison, Addek. Song-fic to Jason Robert Brown's "Stars and the Moon". Hope you enjoy!


**Stars and the Moon**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or the song "Stars and the Moon".**

**Hey everyone! So I was singing this song, "Stars and the Moon" from the Jason Robert Brown musical _Songs for a New World_, to myself the other day and I thought, 'huh, it kind of sounds like someone...' and when I watched Private Practice that night, it struck me that the person it reminded me of was Addison. I really, really hope you guys enjoy! I'll have the next chapter up for There's No Business Like Show Business soon (if not, you have permission to hit me with the fruit of your choosing)! Thanks!**

**-ILoVeWicked**

_I met a man without a dollar to his name,_

_Who had no traits of any value but his smile. _

_I met a man without a yearn or claim to fame, _

_Who was content to let life pass him for a while._

A Forbes-Montgomery, a pure bred, that's what I was. My God, I felt like a dog. If the man wasn't as rich or richer than I was, the other Forbes-Montgomerys wouldn't dare approve. I had been stuck with upper classmen as dates since I was fourteen, and all I ever wanted was a change.

Alex Karev was that change. He wasn't rich, in fact, he was as poor as poor could be. He didn't wear the finest scrubs made of Egyptian Cotton to the hospital like I was forced to wear by my mother, he settled for regular old scrubs. I wonder what regular old scrubs felt like…probably a lot less itchy. Alex didn't need money or fancy necessities to make him happy. He made himself happy with what he had.

And that smile. That smile—or smirk more rather—made me go weak in the knees whenever he decided to catch me off guard and be friendly. And Alex's smile, despite the fact that he almost makes me break a stiletto when he cracks one, always makes me smile back. Even on the roughest of days, the worst of surgeries, I never fail to smile back at him. If only he smiled more often.

_And I was sure that all I ever wanted,_

_Was a life like the movie stars led._

I was but the tender age of four when I decided that I would live a life like Princess Ariel did in _The Little Mermaid_. Though I was in essence a princess, I wanted simpler things, a simpler prince like Prince Eric to sweep me off of my feet. I wanted to belong to a whole other world that didn't involve gloves and fancy silverware.

When I was about thirteen, I wanted to be exactly like Rose in the _Titanic._ I prayed every night that my Jack would come and rescue me from this upper class society I was living in and stand with me on our own ship.

Alex was Prince Eric, and he was Jack. He was all of those aristocratic heroes that swept the ladies off of their feet and made them fall hopelessly in love. I was pretty sure he was going to be my savior, my hero, my prince, and I was even more sure of it as we sat in an empty on-call room, enjoying our own privacy and talking over lunch. It was routine for us.

I looked up at Alex from my egg salad on rye bread and a smiled.

"You know, I like this, the two of us together," I told him. Alex grinned, a smudge of peanut butter on the corner of his mouth.

"Then why are we hiding in an on-call room for, Addison?" he asked me. "You and I shouldn't be afraid of people that will judge us!"

"What are you saying?" I asked. Alex smiled.

"I think that we should go public," he responded. "You and I, what do you say?"

"Uh…" Was all that came out of my mouth.

_But he kissed me right here, _

_And he said:_

"_I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you_

_And a promise, I'll never go_

_I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you_

_And the strength that will help you grow_

_I'll give you truth and a future that's twenty times better_

_Than any Hollywood plot."_

He kissed me softly on the cheek and started listing all of these amazing, Prince Eric-like things that he'd give me, the things I've wanted since I was a toddler. This man was going to free me, I could feel it.

But what would Mom think when I came to family get-togethers with Alex? He was certainly no prince in her eyes. I was already a high society rebel and in my mother's eyes, a misfit. She would only have more to reprimand me about when I brought in Alex Karev. Going public with him was like asking to get my head chewed off…both literally and figuratively.

I didn't want my mother to break Alex. If she hurt him in any way, I wouldn't be able to bear it. I'd never see that smile of his again. Better me breaking him than Mother. I'd rather have one person hate my guts as opposed to the whole Forbes-Montgomery clan.

I opened my mouth slowly and croaked out what would have to be the most pitiful break up I had ever heard. It was far from cinema material, let me tell you.

_And I thought, 'You know,_

_I'd rather have a yacht.'_

_**_

_I met a man who left his life out on the road_

_Who left a wife and kids in Portland on a whim._

_I met a man whose fire and passion always showed. _

_Who asked if I could spare a week to ride with him. _

Mark Sloan. There were many words that came to mind when I thought of that man, but one word stood out above them all: gorgeous. I couldn't understand how Mark had chosen to be a surgeon over a male model, where he could have strived equally as he was now. His perfectly chiseled features, his trademark smirk, that deep, seductive voice…it's no wonder he had all of the nurses, and one attending in particular, swooning.

Under the perfectly made body of Mark Sloan, there still was that same Mark Sloan personality that I could never quite figure out. Some days, he was in a romantic mood, sending me flowers and chocolates, and other days, he kept to his grumpy self. There were times where he was so perverted, flirting with just about any girl he thought worthy enough of his bed. I had caught him so many times, and though I hated him for it, I always found myself coming back into those big, strong arms. Something about that charisma of his always kept me secretly hoping that he would change his ways.

I had known Mark since college, and never, ever had I known that he rode a motorcycle. So when he took me out to his garage and uncovered my eyes to show me the sparkly, shiny, red Harley Davidson that was propped up beside his car, I gasped.

"You ride these things?" I asked. Mark was the kind of guy you could ask forward questions to and not get an iffy-answer back. Mark shrugged.

"I was flirting with one of Der's sisters, and he told me to get a hobby. So here it is."

"Were you really riding this when you called in sick all last week, and all those weeks before that?" I asked, still bewildered. Mark laughed slightly and nodded.

"Yeah…but hey, it beats having to listen to whiny ladies talking about what size they want their nose to be all day." While I was still staring at the motorcycle in awe, Mark placed a helmet, blue and just about my size, in my arms. I looked from the helmet to him, my jaw never settling itself back into place.

"Come ride with me, Addison," he said. It sounded more like a statement than a suggestion to me.

_But I was sure that all I ever wanted_

_Was a life that was scripted and planned. _

"The hospital…my patients…Mark, I can't," I told him meekly, feeling even more crummy when he placed a hand on my shoulder and used the other to tilt my chin up to look into his hazel eyes.

_And he said, "But you don't understand-_

_I'll give you stars and the moon and the open highway_

_And a river beneath your feet_

_I'll give you days full of dreams if you travel my way _

_And a summer you can't repeat_

_I'll give you nights full of passion and days of adventure_

_No strings—just warm summer rain."_

Was I ready for such a stretch? The farthest I had ever traveled was to Florida. I didn't know how I'd manage going any further. To be honest, that motorcycle scared me. It took me eleven years to learn how to ride a bike. How was I going to hold onto Mark's waist without losing my balance and dying on the highway?

And life on the road? Did that mean I'd have to pee in the woods and drink from a flask and make fires? Sure, I had always _dreamed _of being that kind of outdoorsy woman, but I wasn't sure if I could stick to that dream as much as I wanted to.

_And I thought 'You know, _

_I'd rather have champagne.'_

_**_

_I met a man who had a fortune in the bank_

_Who had retired at age thirty; set for life._

Derek was the Forbes-Montgomery type. He was handsome, had a nice job, great hair, and he was rich. My family seemed to enjoy the rich aspect the most. He had put all of his money into a savings account and could have retired right then and there, and we wouldn't have to worry about a thing…financially, that is.

_I met a man, and didn't know which stars to thank_

_And then he asked one day if I would be his wife._

I was pretty sure I loved Derek Shepherd. So when he took me out to a very expensive French restaurant, sweet talking to me the entire way, I knew something was up, and I began to love him even more. Sure enough, halfway into our dinner, Derek got down on one knee and began fishing for something in his pocket. My heart leapt and began fluttering at the thought of what was to come next.

"Addison, you have made me that luckiest man in the world, and now I want you to make me the luckiest _husband_ in the world. Addison Elizabeth Rose Montgomery, will you marry me?"

Yeah, I was pretty sure I had just died and gone to heaven.

_And I looked up, and all that I could think of_

_Was the life I had dreamt I would live._

I thought about how excited my parents would be, and how happy I would make them. For once, I may have just been doing them a favor by marrying someone with money. Though I wouldn't get my Price Eric or Jack, I would still get the yacht, the champagne, all the things that were supposed to matter to a purebred like me. I brought my gaze back to Derek, who was now standing and waiting for me to say something.

_And I said to him: "What will you give?" _

"_I'll give you cars and a townhouse in Turtle Bay_

_And a fur and a diamond ring. _

_And we'll get married in Spain on my yacht today _

_And we'll honeymoon in Beijing. _

_And you'll meet stars at the parties I throw at my villas_

_In Nice and Paris in June."_

He listed just about everything a girl, rich or poor, could want, and I even found myself drooling a little. The sudden change in desires was new, but I had always kind of wanted a house in Turtle Bay, though I had no idea what or where Turtle Bay was.

_And I thought, 'Okay.'_

_And I took a breath…_

_And I got my yacht…_

_And the years went by…_

_And it never changed…_

_And it never grew…_

_And I never dreamed…_

_And I woke one day…_

_And I looked around…_

_And I thought, 'My God-_

_I'll never have the moon.' _

**Review? :)**


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